LATEST NEWS:
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MARCH 4TH 2011:
I dun put this here.

 

 

 

MARCH 2nd 2011 - BREAKING NEWS:
ZOMBIE RUAIRI RETURNS FROM THE GRAVE!

 

 

Hey there. You may be wondering where the savage bloody hell I've been since... years I guess. It's a good question. I've actually been dead. I was viciously and repeatedly murdered back in 2008.

Here is a picture of my frozen corpse:

As you can see from my expression, it was totally worth it, as I got the shot.

I should note that If you find this image curiously arousing, then please do not try to contact me. Weirdo. I may be dead, but I'm not into necrophilia.

It's been rough being dead, but I've recently been resurrected in an elaborate necromantic ceremony (which, unfortunately cost several people their lives, and a number of others their dignity.) But the upshot of all it this is that I have returned to Earth once again in something approximating humanoid form.

It's pretty tricky possessing a human body, not dissimilar to operating a marrionette, so it'll take a while for me to get used to driving this new form. But the good news is that my reign of terror will begin again soon. I'd like to thank all of you out there who sacrficed small furry animals in my name. Unfortunately as it turns out, it was a waste of time, for the great lord Cthuhu cares not for your pathetic blood sacrifices. ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! (But it's the thought that counts I suppose...)

Now.

I've been furiously been jotting down all the ideas I had while I was a disembodied spirit, so it's gonna take a little while to get all this stuff running up to speed. So you will have to bear with me.

In the meantime, here's a teaser for a short film I ghost-directed. It's called BlinkyTM and it's the story of a boy and his robot. It stars Max Records from Where The Wild Things Are.

 

Here are some images from the film:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FROM HERE ONWARDS IS OLD CRAP SO DON'T BOTHER SCOLLING DOWN.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SERIOUSLY.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOTHING NEW TO SEE HERE. BACK UP YOU GO, THANKS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

22nd February 2002

I WAS NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

umm... 5 years ago... Ok this is old news, but until something MORE important happens to me, Like I get Knighted or fly to Jupitor (or win a goddamn Oscar) this stays at the top of the page in the latest news.

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12th February 2007

THE SILENT CITY - FULL FILM ONLINE!!!!!!!!!!
(exclamation marks for the purposes of "hype")

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I've finally posted the full version of my live action short film "The Silent City" online.

Was putting it on youtube myself, but someone beat me to it! If you want to see it quickly (and help conserve my bandwidth - keeps choking) probably best to look at it here first...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MfNyfwwfV4

 

Here's a mirror for the standard def version! (Thanks to John O'Connell!)
THE SILENT CITY High def (quicktime, 378 megs)
standard def version (quicktime, 106 megs)

VISUAL EFFECTS BREAKDOWNS

Silent City Visual effects (Quicktime h264 - 84 megs)

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I wrote/directed/edited/storyboard this and did 95% of the visual effects myself. The film stars Don Wycherley (Batchelors Walk), Cillian Murphy (28Days/Later/Sunshine/Batman Begins/Breakfast on Pluto) and Garvan Mcgrath.

This is the film that finally got me an agent in Hollywood, where an Oscar nomination failed, and hopefully might help me secure one of those "career" things I keep hearing people talking about. I've had many many feature film scripts sent to me in the last couple of months from big fancy hollywood studios, which is utterly fantastic (but would be nice to be able to pay my goddamn rent in the meantime, before I get ahead of myself) so a big thanks to me in the past for finishing the film. I couldn't have done it without past me. Future me, you better not fucking fail present me in my hour of need. Kudos to Nick Ryan too, for producing the thing for me. And the cast/rest of crew of course. I owe a lot of favours that I hope to *actually* repay some day.

So there you go. I hope you enjoy it. Actually it's not exactly light and fluffy so you probably won't "enjoy" it precisely, but I hope it's not too disappointing. And if it is, well unfortunately there are no refunds.

The film is really "funny".

..............................

As a side note, umm... it's become increasingly apparent to me that despite the crap I write on this website, which unless you (yeah, you. No not you -- you.) are fucking retarded will realise is mostly a joke, that I'm not actually very good at hyping myself up, and have occasionally lost jobs to people whose work is crap because I haven't promised bullshit I can't deliver. There are people who can walk into a room, and tell clients exactly what they want to hear just to get the job, then deliver mediocre shit. I'm not one of those people. And I can't stand buzzwords.

So this current paragraph is designed to change all that. So brace yourself for the EDGIEST, GRITTIEST most cutting edge film YOU HAVE EVER SEEN, it will blow your mind! It pushes the envelope so hard it will give your boner a boner! It's so gritty and edgy, it actually takes "it" to the next level, even though nobody has ever, ever figured what "it" is before. Well I have! the "IT" we've all been talking about for years is MY FILM! It's so amazing it will refinance your home, enlarge your penis AND save the Whales. It's THAT good.

Now about that commercial. Did I mention I'm available to direct? The set will contain small traces of grit, and there will be visible edges on it. Any scenes shot in an elevator, I will personally take the crew up to the next vertical level and shoot the scene there instead. I will place envelopes on the set so that I can push them around with my bare hands. I'm even willing to cut the edges off those envelopes! Cuz that's just how I roll. Alternately just tell me what you want to hear, and I'll say that instead. Are we in synergy?

sold/out.
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10th February 2007

My very own personal space.

I decided to get a myspace site before someone with the same name takes it, you never know how many Ruairí Robinson clones there are out there, so better safe than sorry. Or whatever. Here's the bloody link.

http://www.myspace.com/ruairirobinson

Pwease by my fwend! pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaase!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Einstein

I directed this commercial for the Singapore institute of marketing. Designs by Eboy, and animation by Screenscene (this is the first of 3 ads)

This one features Einstein.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nu4n8NAcO2A

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Not my film news!

2 friends of mine have made short films too, and I thought I'd give them a plug here...

DEMON by Eoin Ryan. Now on youtube in full. Watch it HERE

A LONELY SKY by Nick Ryan (who also produced my short film THE SILENT CITY)
Trailer available at www.alonelysky.com


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8th January 2007

MAJOR BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oscar Nominated writer/director Ruairí Robinson went to the shops, and while he had a hard time choosing what he wanted to eat for dinner, he eventually managed successfully to get the following:

- pack of jaffa cakes,
- 3x chomp bars,
- pack of table-water crackers,
- 2 litre bottle of milk,
- pack of Kilmeaden Red Chedder Cheese,
- tub saxa table salt,
- pack of brown demerara sugar,
- pack Roma Vermicelli pasta,
- 1x dvd copy mission impossible 3 (surprisingly good, for a non-fan of these movies)
- 1x dvd copy Miami Vice (surprisingly crap, for a big fan of Michael Mann)
- bottle Newman's own balsamic vinegarette,
- Fillet Steak
- Iceberg Lettuce,
- Basmati rice,
- birds eye frozen garden peas.
- representation with CAA, the biggest and most powerful talent agency in hollywood.

He enjoyed his meal, such as it was, and looks forward to more meals, and to hopefully making a feature film in the not too distant future.

Here's an artists impression of my ego, engulfing all of Tokyo.

.

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IT'S OFFICIAL. I AM "COOL"

I was on a list of "30 cool people" in the Sunday Tribune. If you've ever met me, or spoken to me on the phone you probably think I'm lying, so here's a link to prove it.

Shakers, Spinners, movers, Scenesters

Here's an artists impression of my ego, engulfing all of Tokyo. Heeere we go again! Sorry Tokyo.

.

So I now have official third party confirmation that I'm a hip and happening trendy cool gritty young transcultural urbanite trendsetter, taking edgyness to the next level, 24/7. You just can't take the realness of what I'm laying down. To the max, baybeee. To the extreeeme.

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27th October 2006

MY SHORT FILM, "THE SILENT CITY", IS FINALLY FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After an extended leave of absense (basically, me head down/at home/working non stop)... My Short film "The Silent City" (formerly known as THE LEVELLER) is FINALLY completed. I hope it was worth it, because I'm fucking broke.

It's screened in the Cork Film Festival on recently, and hopefully will be shown in many more festivals after that. It's been submitted to Sundance, and we'll see if it gets in (Fifty Percent Grey did, so I live in hope!)

I've uploaded a trailer, in various resolutions, up to full HD 1080p (1920x1080 resolution!)

Silent City Trailer HD - 1080p (93 megs, quicktime)
Silent City Trailer HD - 720p (30 megs, quicktime)
Silent City Trailer SD - 480p (6.9 megs, quicktime)

I can't upload the whole film online for the moment, until it's cleared a few more festivals first, But I'll be uploading some new images and info on the visual effects soon... I've done a whole post production making of which shows the whole film with/without the effects, and breakdowns of some of the shots into the various passes to show how much work went into the visual effects. If enough people are interested, I may post this video (or do a web edit, since it pretty much gives the whole thing away)

I gotta say, I don't know what I think about the film as a whole anymore, but some of the images in it are still pretty strong, and I'm certainly happy with the way the film LOOKS. The whole thing was finished off at High Def, and it's been a fantastic testbed for me to gear up techwise, and skillwise for anything almost anything that work throws me in the future. Basically I'm set up to shoot/edit and complete a feature film in high def now, without having to rely too much on anyone else.

Oh yeah, and if you like the work you see here, I should mention I'm available to direct commercials, features, wedding videos, porn... pretty much anything. You know, as long as I get to keep my dignity...

...

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1st June 2006

SPECIAL K

I directed a Special K Commercial a little while back - Shot on 35mm, a little bit of CG, the longest packshot in the history of the world ever, and Hey-Presto. You can view it HERE in quicktime format (21 megs)

It's nothing revolutionary, but it's a neat enough little idea, and It's cool to finally be paid to shoot stuff live action. So it was a nice little first (commercial) step into the world of no longer being "The Animation Guy".

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21st May 2006

LONG BEGGED FOR FAQ

I get hundreds of emails every day asking me questions, like do I want to increase my penis size, or purchase prescription drugs, so for no causally connected reason, I've put together a quick FAQ of commonly asked questions that I should be asked all the time but for some reason never am. Not frequently enough anyway. By frequently, I mean ever. And I check through each an every spam mail hoping they might be a fan of my work. I remain hopeful.

1) How come you are so fucking amazing?

Oh I'm not really all that amazing. It's just that most people really are just... crap. I consider myself just slightly above average, it's just that the average is set so painfully low, that in comparison, I guess you could say, I'm amazing.

2) wow, you really have a big fucking ego, what's your problem?

I really don't have an ego. In fact, I have a really low opinion of myself. I am shit. But, if we are to refer back to question 1, well what does that make you? (na na na nya nah)

3) Wow, you really have an ego, how come you are so fucking amazing?

Damn, you are thick. Shut up you donkey raping shiteater. (doesn't that phrase just roll off the tongue, like morning dew doesn't)

I've been meaning to set up an IQ test before allowing people admittance to this site. Bit I'm too lazy to set it up. In answer to your question, a regular diet of Coca Cola and Domino's Pizza, gives me the healthy boost and mental stimulation I need to motivate me to pursue my dreams of working in advertising, on such great brands as Coca Cola and Domino's Pizza.

4) Fifty Percent Grey Sucks. It's really stupid. I don't get it.

That's because it makes no sense. I was hoping to sucker people into thinking it was meaningful, but unfortunately most people saw right through it. Sorry.

5) I am a really hot supermodel with really low standards, will you have sex me right now?

Sorry, I'd love to and everything, but because of my self destructive tendencies (I'm an "artist" you see) would probably ruin my own chances by saying something really stupid.

6) But I'm serious. I'm so hot for you right now Rory, take me big boy.

That's not how my name is spelt. Are you stupid or something? My name is written all over this website, and you don't even have the common courtesy to spell it right? Are you a fucking retard or something? Are you? ARE YOU? Get out of my site, fool.

7) But...?

OUT OF MY SITE

8) But.........?

OUT!

9) But...................?

Are you deaf too? I said fuck off!!!!!

10) Fine be like that then. Fuck you too. Piece of shit. Are you a fucking fag or what?

I'm not Gay, fuck you. wait... come back... I'm not gay...........

Did I mention I was really cool? Me! Look I was nominated for an Oscar! Wooo, look! Shiny!

Come back..............


Fuck.


ANY MORE QUESTIONS?

*

Shooting a commercial on Friday - GOD HELP US ALL!


(I'm pretty sure the client hasn't seen my website. Dodged the bullet on that one. Suckers.)

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20th May 2006

Thank you Bessie. And Clio, how come you never call?

So I won a bunch of awards at The Bessies, which is another pretty high profile awards thingy in Canadia. I think it won 7 in total, though I'm not 100% sure...

The Bessie Awards (FEATURING ME!)

Also was shortlisted for a Clio award, but didn't win (beaten by a Playstation commercial)

Clio awards Shortlist (FEATURING ME!)

Clio Awards Winners (FEATURING PEOPLE THAT AREN'T ME!)

Now you might be thinking; "Jesus, do you ever get tired of talking about yourself, what a goddamn loser, all you ever talk about here is how you won this or shouldda won that or couldda been a contender, when in fact you really are a boring little man with no life, no friends, no future prospects, nothing to say and nobody to share your misery with,"

But you'd be completely wrong. Not only am I fucking amazing, and have hundreds of billions of dollars in the bank, enough to buy all the friends I'll ever need, but I'm also... er... Sorry I've run out of things to say here. Except for the humm of my raid array, this room is really quiet. I'm hungry.

*

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31st March 2006

More awards for Milk - 14 of them!!!!

2006 Marketing Awards

"The advertiser that has the strongest and most consistent performance, based on all the work recognized by the Marketing Awards jury across all categories, is presented with a special Marketing Awards Advertiser of the Year prize each year. The 2006 recipient is the BC Dairy Foundation in Burnaby, B.C. for the work promoting milk, produced by DDB Vancouver. The campaign was honoured with 14 awards, including three golds, five silvers, two bronzes and four certificates."

That brings the grand total of awards won by milk to... umm... I've lost count. (And I'm not being facetious - Im really just too lazy to add them up!)

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15th March 2006

NEW MILK ADS - HIGH DEF!

Two of the milk commercials I directed were rendered at film rez for cinema projection, so I have those now in all their úber shiny super image tastic high definition glory, at full 1080p 1920x1080 resolution, using the h.264 codec thingy.

Also, they are on the web already, but I've uploaded full rez high quality versions of the other 2 of the last 3 milk ads.

T-REX 60 (HD)
RAPTORS 60 (HD)

ICE AGE 30

PTERODACTYL 30

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1st March 2006

DEMON Short Film Trailer


A Friend of mine has made a short film, and here's the trailer for it. It's pretty fucking cool looking.

DEMON TRAILER

The film is written, Directed and animated by Eoin Ryan
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3rd Feb 2006

Visited Blur Studios

V. cool setup there. and nice people too. Was shown around, and saw some fantasmic pre-production concepts from their new features in development as well as a new short film they are working on, which they didn't specically say I shouldn't talk about here, but using what few brain cells I have left, I can assume they wouldn't want me to. I even sat in to a story meeting for the short film, was interesting to see how they work. Since as a rule I can't have any posting here without in some way making it weird or negative or bitter sounding, I'll just ad that I hate them, because they are getting to make feature films now, and I'm not. Bastards.
www.blur.com

*

I added a guestbook at the bottom of the page.

So sign it. It's just making me look like a loser if nobody signs it. Please...? I'll be your best friend!

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1st Feb 2006

I won another award today for milk.

The Milk ads won BEST ANIMATION today at the Digital Media Awards in Dublin.

Oh yes, and before I forget, the 3 new milk ads are airing next week for the first time, so will try and get them on my website ASAP.

(In other news, my friend Eoin Ryan shaved his beard, for the first time since he was born.)

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30th Jan 2006

I just registered a couple of new urls, which means I now own 11 in total. This includes the urls of serveral film properties I'd like to make, when I'm big. Am I wasting my time? maybe, but it's not very expensive. I'm not going to list those urls here though, because... I don't want to.

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27th Jan 2006

Even yet many much additional more awards for Milk!!!!!!!!

Last night, the New York Festivals were held in New York City. As opposed to, for example, Rome, Italy. The following awards were given to DDB Canada for the B.C. Dairy campaign "Survival of the fittest".

'Rock / Sabertooth / T-Rex' - Best Animation: Computer/
3D Silver World Medal

'T-Rex' Cinema Commercial

Bronze World Medal

'Rock' Beverages: Non-Alcoholic

Finalist Certificate

It's particularly nice to win international awards, so you don't have to worry about any trace of nepotism, patriotism or Jingoism creeping into the decision making process, and of course the whole small pond thing. And I feel very strongly about this, as I find my self saying with increasing regulalarity when I'm in a drunken stupor, which I find myself in with increasing regularity. So maybe I'm just being paranoid.


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12th Jan 2006

I'm in LA! I'm the only person in the city that can't drive. Or swim.

Doing a little job with Yu+Co there, and maybe a couple of bigger jobs if all goes well! back in Dublin on something like Feb 5th.

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4th Jan 2006

New pictures uploaded!

I've uploaded some pictures from my new live action short film "The Leveller" onto my website. The film stars Cillian Murphy (28 days later/Batman Begins) Don Wycherley (Batchelors Walk, Veronica Guerin) and Garvan McGrath.



*

I'm going to be going to LA for a couple of weeks, from 9th to 24th of January, to do a little bit of work. Which is cool but it means I have to put my short film on hold again for the gazillionth time.

*

This is Ruairí's evil twin brother Oisín. Actually he's not Ruairi's twin as you can clearly tell from this photo, and he's not evil. Ruairi is the evil one.

Also Ruairí is much more focused as an individual. That by the way, was a joke. Ok it wasn't a very good one.

Oisín is playing bass at a gig in Crawdaddy on friday 6th Jan. I will also be there if you want to beat me up.
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3rd Jan 2006

RUAIRÍ IN LACK OF SLEEP SHOCKER!

The news today is, I'm really tired cuz I didn't sleep last night cuz I was putting together this website.
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2nd Jan 2006

AWARDS!

First the good news, (I've crammed all these recent awards things together since I'm only getting around to doing my website at the start of 2006). The Thorntons Ad I directed at The Mill in London, was just nominated for 2 awards at the British Animation awards (if I've got the name correct) for:

- best animated commercial
- The Public Choice Award 2005 (the ‘best of the best’ creative work in all categories)

*

MORE AWARDS!

Second, the even better news. The Milk Ads I directed have recently won some new awards - 7 of them, at the Shark awards.

The awards included

- Best Direction,
- Best Animation,
- Best New Director (Ruairí Robinson)
- and the Palme D'Or for best production company.
- It also won an award for winning the most awards!

Here's a quote from the festival director, carefully excluding the parts that aren't about me:

John Holohan, Festival Director, commenting on this year's show said ‘We had a fantastic event this year. Though the rain tried to wash us into the Fergus, the quality of the events we staged and the work that was entered kept everyone's spirits high. It was especially gratifying to see a jury of such international renowned award so many trophies to Irish commercials. Zanita Films' Milk work was so extraordinary and humorous that it just jumps out at you from the screen."

He goes on to talk about some other AD that I didn't do being his favourite of the show, but since this is my website, I've done a FOX NEWS on the quote and only included the relevant portion that makes me look good.

While on the subject of Fox News, I've taken the liberty of rearranging the quote, and selectively omitting some stuff, and adding a few extra words, to make the festival director sound like a raging alchoholic. Now I don't know the guy at all, I don't think I've ever met him, and I have nothing against him. I'm just doing this because I'm bored. anyway, in the spirit of Fox News, here's the new quote:

John Holohan, Festival Director, commenting on this year's show said "Gimme some fuckin' drink or I'll bust yer head open and shit in it. Bastards! Bastards the lorra yiz! do you think you're better than me? I'll show you, I'll show all of youse, fuckin' bastards. Oh and Ruairi Robinsons Milk commercials are the best ads ever made in the universe ever."

...Thats My kind of press release quote.

*

EVEN MORE AWARDS!

Thirdly, and even more recently, and almost as goodly, the ads won 3 awards at the ICADS

- Gold for Best campaign
- craft award for Best directing
- Bronze for Animation

Ruairí Robinson, commenting on this year's show said "Gimme some fuckin' drink or I'll bust yer head open and shit in it. Bastards! Bastards the lorra yiz! do you think you're better than me? I'll show you, I'll show all of youse, fuckin' bastards."

*

IT'S AN AWARDS ORGY!

Fourthly, and I'm on a roll-ly, Wow! Even more awards news! Are you sick of it yet? The Milk Ads are nominated for another 2 awards at the 02 digital media awards:

- Best animation
- best digital post production

I'm up against a friend of mine in those categories for his short animated film! So if he beats me, I'll beat him, up.

Ruairí Robinson, commenting on this year's show said "We are pleased and delighted to see me being nominated for so many awards in such a short period of time. It just goes to show how when you take your work "to the next level", people will all be "in synergy" in their united "transcultural" praise for the extraordinary "edgyness" of this work. It's great to be able to supply animation of such a high standard as "a commodity" for our clients, and I look forward to taking it to the next level in the future 24/7."

*

FUCK YOU!

In "FUCK YOU" news, someone recently posted on Atomfilms.com pretending to be me, posting disparaging comments about a short film made by friends of mine, under my name (spelt incorrectly, of course). All I can say is, whoever you are, go fuck yourself. really, fuck yourself. I don't need this shit. So it's either someone I know, or some loser from creativireland.com who I pissed off in the past. Man they just can't take the realness of what I'm laying down.

You're on my list man. And it's a small list. Here's the list.

1) You.

If I find you, you'll regret it. Especially the part with the Giraffe, which is just disgusting, even to me**.


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1st Jan 2006

HEATING NEWS!

In non news, my house is cold for the third consecutive winter. You would think by now I'd do something about it.

*

WHY DO I THINK ANYONE CARES NEWS?!!!!!

In incredibly non-news Point Blank still isn't out on DVD. Who gives a shit I hear you ask? I do, me and some other people I've never met. It's probably the only DVD I don't have yet but really want. I have a lot of dvds.***

*

I HAVE NO LIFE NEWS!

In DVD watching news, I recently watched 3 series of Curb Your Enthusiasm back to back, with just a brief sleep break in between. You may think I'm a loser for doing this, and you are right, but the show is fucking funny, in my humble opinion, the best comedy show on tv.

 

 

 

 





*I know it's tempting to make fun of him. but it's just cruel.
**He's specially trained for certain "actions".
***
A lot of dvds

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